Locked Up/ Vis A Vis Season 3 Review: And You Thought Prison Life Was Bad Before...

This season our favorite seven prisoners (Macarena, Curly/Rizos, Anabel, Sole, Saray, Tere and Antonia) have been transferred to a high security prison. In the intro, the crimes of each are listed. It's a rough bunch. Zulema (ie the evil elf) eventually wakes up from her coma and joins them. It's apparently impossible to kill that woman. You know she's going to wreak some major havoc-- including payback to Macarena for almost killing her.

New characters this season include:

Mercedes- An ex lawyer and fellow transfer prisoner, she is preyed on by everyone.
Akame- The head of the Chinese prison gang.
Pruden- An older prison who befriends Sole. She tries to stay out of trouble.
Altagracia Guerrero- A prison guard who is ruthless.
Frutos- A fellow guard who seems nice (but dont trust him).
Goya- a fellow prison who thinks she rules the roost (until running into Zulema).

Prison Exercise Regime

While our main characters might have been top dogs at the old prison, the Chinese gang running Cruz del Norte is way more dangerous. In the first episode a guard (Unai) is killed when his throat slashed by an outstretched cord between the cells. This makes fellow guard Altagracia even more ruthless. She was in a secret relationship with Unai. She tries to find the killer throughout the season. I think its definitely the Chinese but is there more to the story?

Remember Sole's fiance was killed right before they wed. Now she finds out from his children (who hate her) that Sole was made the heir to his estate. Also the actress playing has lost tons of weight. I'm not sure if it is supposed to reflect the Sole's heart transplant or the actress is having health issues. Hopefully its the former.

Castillo visits Macarena in prison. He says he he swore to Macarenas father that he would protect her. Macarena says everyone who comes near her dies (her mother, father, neice ere killed last season). That's why she doesnt want her brother to visit.

Fabio shows up anyway and proposes to Macarena. He says he will wait however many years until she's out of prison. She says she cant marry him. The woman he fell in love with no longer exists.

There Can Only Be One Top Dog

At the end of episode 2, Macarema is attacked by the Chinese gang and stuffed in a washing machine. Zulema finds her and starts CPR. Macarena is rushed to the hospital. She goes into cardiac arrest several times and is near dearth. That's the last we see of her in season 3.

Saray learns the truth about her pregnancy. Her husband is sterile so someone else is obviously the father. Sadly, her parents reject her. She is determined to raise the child in prison. Saray eventually figure out that the father is prison physician Sandoval. She fakes a medical emergency and beats him in the head with a tray. Then she either cuts off his penis or almost does. I couldnt really tell.

Our Gang

Curley starts a relationship with a junior police detective. She doesnt have long to live because her cancer has returned. Poor Curley does not have a very good track record with the ladies. Tere continues to struggle with addiction and almost dies. Antonia is given parole thanks to some Catholic group. I didnt catch the name. Maybe that ceremony is common in Spain but it was very interested to watch. I think those hoods mean something very different in Spain that the US.

Anabel FINALLY gets what's coming to her. She tries to force Sole into transferring her property over to her. Sole almost kills her but is talked down by Pruden. Zulema tells Altagracia that Anabel is really the person that killed that killed Unia. She finds Anabel in the laundry room and stabs her to death. Next Altagracia is almost hung by some prisoners in masks. Zulema saves her and tells Altgracia that Frutos has been in cahoots with the Chinese and is behind all the bad stuff.

The overarching story this season is the Chinese prisoners trying to escape so they can steal a cargo container full of mob money from Akame's brother before it gets to China. Mercedes is supposed to get the container's number. Zulema interjects herself into the plan. Zulema gets Altagracia to help her escape during a transfer. Then the Chinese ringleaders and Mercedes escape but are encountered by Zulema and the cops. There's a massive shootout. Curley's girlfriend is shot dead. How many of Castillo's coworkers have been killed at this point? I cant keep track at this point. I'm not sure who else died during the shootout.

Do Not Mess With This Woman!

Meanwhile after running over Frutos with the prison bus, Altagracia and Zulema go on the run. Two months later the cops catch up with them. Altagracia is captured. Zulema and her BFF Saray (she had Altagracia spring her from prison-- with an assist from the rest of the prisoners) are in a massive shootout. They escape but Saray is shot in the stomach. She begs Zulema to take her the hospital but Zulema wont jeopardize her freedom. She strangles Saray with a seat belt. We hear some shots fired but dont know if Saray hit Zulema or not. That's a new low... even for Zulema (and super hard to watch).

Better Times

And thus the season ends. The main players are out of commission or their status is uncertain-- Macarena, Zulema, Saray and Anabel. I guess we'll have to tuned in for season 4 to find out who is still alive on this crazy show.

Grade: 5 Monsters (out of 5). "Locked Up/Vis A Vis" continues to thrill in season 3. The change in location and new characters adds a fresh new spin on an already bat shit crazy show. The characters are compelling, the pace is fast and the plot rivals any soap opera. Shocking deaths and revelations are guaranteed. Think "Game Of Thrones" but behind bars... and in Spain.