American Horror Story: Apocalypse Premiere Review: It's The End Of The World As We Know It... And I Feel Fine

Season 8 of "AHS" features a crossover between "Murder House" (season 1) and "Coven (season 3). The premiere opens with residents of LA learning that nukes have been launched against the US and everyone is about to die. People run screaming through the streets.

A women getting her hair done is Facetimed by her rich daddy. Coco St Pierre Vanderbilt (Leslie Grossman) must get to the airport ASAP where a jet is waiting to take her to safety. Her assistant Mallory (Billie Lourd), hairstylist Mr Gallant (Evan Peters) and his gran Evie (the fabulous Joan Collins) all jump on the plane. Sadly, her hubby gets stuck in LA traffic and perishes. Mid-flight they discover no one is flying the plane. Eeekk!

The four arrive at their destination (OutPost 3). Best guess is it's in New Orleans in/under Mrs. Robichaux's Academy...because "Coven" crossover, ya know. The new arrivals learn the rules from Wilhemina Venable: 1. Do not go outside under any circumstances; 2. No unauthorized copulation; 3. Everyone must "dress" for dinner (ie that means put on something Victorian). They also meet Dinah Stevens (Adina Portman), Stu, and a few others. The bunker is divided between purples (the elites) and grays (the servants). Two teenagers named Timothy and Emily are also there. They were rescued from their homes because they have the right genetic makeup. Whatever that means.

On a side note, why are there so many candles? That's definitely a fire hazard for a fallout shelter.

Food is rationed. Everyone is restricted to one small nutrition cube per meal. Stu and Gallant are determined to have traces of radiation. They are brutally scrubbed down. This gives us the gratuitous shot of Evan Peter's butt we anticipate each season. Too funny! At the next meal, stew is served. Uh, where did that come from? It's not too hard to guess. The stew is Stu (which is only appropriate... that's his name). Some are disgusted but Evie takes it all in stride. After all, it seems Stu is delicious. If I had to bet on who would make it out of the Apocalypse alive, it would be Joan Collins. That woman scares me.

Venable and Miriam Meade (Kathy Bates) share card game when we learn the truth. They're just making up stuff as they go along. There was never a radiation scare. All I can say is it's great to have Kathy Bates back. I just love her.

Fast forward eighteen months, all the other outposts have been overrun. A mysterious man in a horse drawn carriage makes his way through the fog. Major Dracula vibes. He shows his ID. Michael Langdon (Cody Fern) is here to determine who is worthy to be taken to a more secure location. He works for the mysterious Cooperative.

Of course the audience knows what these people do not. Michael is the AntiChrist. Remember in "Murder House" Billie Dean Howard prophesied the child of Tate Langdon and Vivian Harmon (Connnie Britton) would be the AntiChrist. Just a reminder that he had a twin that was stillborn. Michael was raised by next door neighbor (and Tate's mother) Constance (Jessica Lange). Why is the child the AntiChrist? I guess because Tate was a ghost? Dont ask me. Anywho, the last time we saw Michael, he had killed his babysitter. Man that kid grows fast. Shouldnt he be like 7 years old since "Murder House" occurred in 2011?

The witches are MIA during the premiere. They will be back at some point. It is a crossover with "Coven" after all. Plus we get this really cool shot of Madison, Cordelia and Myrtle. Also, who's better to fight the Antichrist than a bunch of witches?

Grade: 4 Monsters (out of 5). "Apocalypse" is off to a good start. We'll see where it leads. I dont want to get my hopes up though-- since Ryan Murphy has a history of fizzling out before the ending. I'm still invested enough to keep coming back though.