Once Upon A Time Season 5 Episode 11 Review: When I Said "To Hell With Hook" Last Week I Really Meant It

"Swan Song" is the "Once Upon A Time" winter finale. We wont see the Storybrooke residents again until March. Are those irritating Camelot characters gone as well? Apparently the "OUAT" writers couldnt stand Arthur or Merlin anymore either since this episode is dedicated to Dark Hook (complete with hair gel and pastier complexion). There isnt a Camelotian (or maybe they're Camelotites) in sight.

When The Town Is Threatened We All Like To Walk Down The Middle Of Main Street Together

Last week the Dark Ones arrived by cruise ship from Hell. It's amazing how many Dark Ones you can cram on a little boat. Hook is bent on revenge... which apparently means killing everyone in Storybrooke. Doesnt it always? The Dark Ones roam around town in their robes (cause everyone knows baddies wear black monk robes). They sneak up on the main characters. They like to form human chains cause that proves they're even more menacing.

Yep We're Bad Asses

Elsewhere in town Regina finds Zelena planning to redecorate her office. The color scheme is of course green. Regina uses her magic wand to conjure up a tornado which whisks Zelena back to Oz... but not before Zelena vows her revenge. How many times are these two going to do this scene? What would be much more interesting is if they gave Zelena more depth as a character (just as they have done Regina). But no one asked me.

Belle packs up and leaves town only to return to see if Rumple is OK. How many times are we going to do this same scene? And how many times are they going to make Rumple the Dark One again?

Have The People In This Show Never Heard Of Therapy?

We see a flashback and Regina (ie Evil Cleavage) with Hook. He is seeking revenge against his father for abandoning him. But Pops has changed and now has another son. None of this matters to Hook much, who kills his Daddy anyway. What was the point of that? Hook, you sir are a one handed dummy.

And This Chick Is Still Hanging Around

There's more running around. Emma goes to Rumple to get a sword to try to defeat Hook. Her parents and son hang out in Grannie's diner as usual. Blah, blah, blah. All the main characters end up in the park together. Again they are encircled by the Dark Ones.

Dead Is Never Dead On "OUAT"

Could the ending have been any more predictable? After repeatedly declaring his allegiance to the dark side, Hook sacrifices himself at the last second for Swan. He sucks up all the energy from the others into his sword and Emma stabs him with it. He dies in her arms. Emma had a good cry. Then she goes to Rumple and learns that she can "theoretically" go to Hell and bring him back. Everyone else decides to go along for the ride. So Swan, Henry, Regina, Hook, David and Snow head off into the Underworld. Why not? It's not like anyone has real jobs in this town.

From the March previews, it looks like they'll meet all the previously dead characters including Cora and Peter Pan. This might actually be pretty interesting. I just wish we had a "OUAT" and "The Walking Dead" mashup. Wouldnt that be great? I would DEFINITELY watch the Storybrooke characters battle zombies. Those magical powers would definitely come in handy.

Evil Cleavage... Just Because

Grade: 3 Monsters (out of 5). There is lots of wasted potential this season. I never cared about the Camelot story line. Dark Hook left something to be desired but he is more interesting as a villain. Otherwise he has the personality of a potato. Dark Emma never materialized as I had hoped. She spent most of her time running around in white hair wearing gothic outfits.

This episode was completely predictable. Of course, Hook would change his mind at the last second and save everyone. And of course, Emma would go to Hell to save him. Hell has to be more interesting than Camelot though so I'm all for it.

Is it just me or have the "OUAT" writers been watching old episodes of "Xena"? Remember the one where Xena sacrifices herself for Gabrielle and Xena goes to Hell to save her? Or was it the other way around? Who can keep track, it happened so much.