American Horror Story Season 6 Episode 1 Review: More Like American Ho Hum Story So Far (Season Premiere)

"American Horror Story" has kept viewers in suspense for several months as we try to guess the theme of season 6. Some 24 teasers were released with potential subjects. We later learn all are misdirects except for one. On Thursday we finally learn the show's true identity--"AHS: Roanoke" (as in North Carolina's lost Roanoke Colony). Interestingly, Roanoke was referred to back in season 1's "Murder House" by Billie Dean (Sarah Paulson's character). Ryan Murphy has said repeatedly that all the seasons of "American Horror Story" are connected so this is a big clue.

I have been a HUGE fan of "AHS" since episode 1 but I must confess I was underwhelmed by the premiere. They were only a few times when the show was scary. Most of the time I was just bored. There was too much talking and too little action.

A loving couple recounts their story in a documentary named "My Roanoke Nightmare". Lilly Rabe and Andre Holland play the "real" couple. Sarah Paulson and Cuba Gooding Jr play the "actors". The Millers flee LA after a brutal attack and settle in Roanoke. They buy a deserted old house in the woods for a dirt cheap price. The inbred locals are pissed because they also wanted the house... OR are they trying to warn the couple not to purchase the house because it's haunted?

The Millers settle in and start renovations. Strange things begins to happen. Shelby sees people in the house that arent there. Teeth rain from the sky. A dead pig is left on the doorstep. Shelby is almost drowned in the hot tub.We see people outside with pitchforks and torches. Are these the ghosts of the lost Roanoke colony? Has a dimension been opened between the 1500s and the 2010s? Or is it all a misdirect just as with the show's trailers?

Matt thinks his wife is having emotional issues (due to a miscarriage). As a result his sister Lee (played by Adina Porter from "The 100" and Angela Bassett) arrives. She'll be staying a while and has her own personal demons. More craziness ensues. "Blair Witch Project" stick dolls are left in the house. There's also a pig man. Ryan Murphy seems to really like pigmen. There was also one in "Murder House". Here piggy, piggy, piggy.

Shelby has had enough and wisely decides to leave. She of course then runs into a woman (Kathy Bates) in the middle of the road and unwisely follows her into the woods. There she runs into a bizarre group... and roll credits.

Grade: 3 Monsters (out of 5). I'm hoping "AHS" has some major surprises for us (like everyone we see is really D-E-A-D). Otherwise how is this different from any other run-of-the-mill haunted house story? I just wasnt feeling the suspense in episode 1. I'm willing to give the show time though and will be back again. Hopefully it's a slow burn. I'm not sure first time viewers though would be compelled to return based on what they saw. Am I off track? Please leave your thoughts in the comments below.