Salem Season 3 Episodes 1-3 Reviews: Salem Feels A Bit Claustrophobic

"Salem" returns to WGNA after a LONG (some 17 month) absence. As you will recall at the end of season 2, Mary had unleashed hell on earth (in the form of her son John Jr). Sebastian killed his mother because he loved Mary. "Technically" he temporarily sidelined Countess Marburg by exiling her back to her coffin. He MIGHT let her out one of these days. Mary sacrificed herself to save the love of her life John Alden. Despite the exciting buildup to this, the end of season 2 seemed a bit flat. I wasnt sure where else the show could go. After you resurrected the Devil, what can you do for an encore?

Yep, Looks Dead

But the network seems to still believe in the story so we're back for another helping of "Salem". Tituba has now become the Seer. Remember last season she killed the previous Seer and ate his eyeballs. Little John (ie the Dark Lord) sent crows to peck out hers. Tituba, with the help of the Essex witches, resurrects Mary. She is the only person who was stop her son (who the witches now decide has given them a raw deal). Did they honestly think the Devil would play fairly? Stupid witches!

Mary contemplates leaving town by the witches remind her she's permanently trapped in Salem. Away she goes to off the Dark Lord. Salem seems a bit claustrophobic to both Mary and me. Meanwhile John Sr has been directed by Hathorne to train an army. There's a war raging outside of town. The Indians have joined with the French to fight against the good guys (who arent that good).

Ouch, That Looks Painful

Mercy, who is now running a brothel, puts a curse on Hathorne. He will die a horror painful death (from what looks like the plague) if he doesnt visit her nightly for the antidote. He is now under her complete control. She delights in this new relationship by having him pleasure her. You go girl! But Mercy better keep an eye on Issac the TruthTeller (PKA Issac the Fornicator). He's after her for the death of Dollie (and other townsfolk).

Cotton is still being held hostage by Anne (who we previously learned is Sebastian's sister). Cotton uses some herbs to extract Brown Jenkins from his throat and then bashes him to death. Uh oh. Anne is not going to be happy.

WWF Smackdown

In the main event, a character called the Sentinel guards the Dark Lord. He seems to be a fallen angel of some sort. We're not sure of specifics but he says he built "this world" (meaning Earth, I think).. We also learn that Little John is possessed by Samael (a superbad angel who tempted Eve into sin). See Samael for details.

Sentinel tells Mary they met seven years ago when she cried out in pain. He was the swarm of insects that crawled over her. Sentinel promises to one day "devour" Mary. He shoves a giant millipede down her throat to determine her true intentions. She somehow passes the test. But of course its all a trick. Sentinel then locks Mary's head in a box.

Luckily Tituba is able to keep on "eye" on Mary from afar. She removed two eyes from a cat and put them in her head. She can see what the cat witnesses at the Sibley home. That was creepy and fun.

Sebastian is instructed by John/Sentinel to take something called "angel's tears" to the French. The plan is to obliterate Salem and ignite a hundred year war so people will turn away from God. It seems, given their powers, the two could just destroy the town themselves but whatev.

More Of This Please

In the best special effects thus far of the season, J&S perform a "reckoning" on Mary. They strip Mary of her powers while Anne looks on. They remove each power individually-- earth, air, water, fire. Very cool. And just when Cotton thinks he's free, a flattened Brown Jenkins appears to Anne. She quickly scurries home.

In other news, Marilyn Mason arrives in Salem as a barber named Thomas Dinley. I'm sure he's up to lots of other stuff besides barbering. We also meet a girl posing as a boy who follows John Alden around. Where will this lead?

Favorite Quotes:

"History say say the Devil was born in Salem."- the Sentinel.
"A great terror will soon fall upon Salem and there is not a soul alive upon this dull earth who can stop me."- Little John (ie the Dark Lord).
"Forgive me sister. I, as much as anyone, put you in this grave. Now I must drag you from it."- Tituba as she digs up Mary.
"There are punishments far worse than death."- John Jr.
Sentinel: "When did you ever spare a life?" The Dark Lord: "This life is precious to me." Sentinel: "Has that tiny meat suit corrupted you? The human body is a pitiful sack of blood, piss and water. I fear in your case, mostly piss.
Mr Putnam: "Is it [the red flaming sky] the end of the world? Cotton: "No doubt the end of someone's world".

Grade: 3 3/4 Monsters (out of 5). The show has great potential, great acting (I LOVE Janet Montgomery), great set pieces, and great special effects. I'm just afraid it will never live up to it's true potential. After tangling with the Devil, being permanently stuck in Salem, and losing her powers, I'm not sure what else Mary Sibley can do. I probably wont watch Salem every week but I'll keep checking back to see how it all ends.