American Horror Story Freak Show: Episodes 2 Thru 3 Recaps: Dont Mess With Miss Patti LaBelle

So far AHS is keeping up it's momentum. Previously it's had a very strong beginning, only to run out of time and quickly wrap up everything (or just forget about some story lines) in the end. I hope that doesnt happen this year.

In episode 2 "Massacres and Matinees" we are introduced to strongman Del Toledo and his girlfriend/wife/partner Desiree Dupree. She has three breasts and is a hermaphrodite.

New Besties

Meanwhile the killer clown is still on the loose. My absolute favorite scene is when Gloria drives by Twisty on a lonely dirt road. In her sugar sweet upper crust voice she says "Yoo hoo clown! Do you do children's parties". Hilarious! I mean seriously, why would you try to pick up a clown that looks like that? Anyway I thought Gloria was a goner. Instead Twisty is at her house waiting to play with Dandy. Dandy is doing his usually "Im bored" and "entertain me" bit. The clown humors him for a while and when Dandy tries to look in his bag, Twisty whacks him the head. And did you recognize Patti LaBelle as Dora? I wasnt sure too but it is her. Run for your life Patti LaBelle! Get out of Jupiter as quickly as possible.

Twisty takes off with Dandy in hot pursuit. Back at the bus/prison the clown shows the robot he stole from the toy store to his captives (followed by a severed head). The kids escape but Dandy grabs the girl and drags her back in. See I told ya that Dandy was a bigger freak than the freaks!

That Dot Is Actually A Great Singer. I Really Enjoyed This Song.

At the circus Dot or Bette (I cant tell them apart) sings a Fiona Apple song "Criminal" to a packed tent. The boys all form a mosh pit and dance. Later Elsa tells Bette (or Dot) that she is the real star and suggests she off Dot (or Bette). Elsa even gives her a knife. Uh you do know that if you kill her, you're killing yourself right?

Jimmy tries to frame Del for killing the detective (whom Jimmy actually murdered). But the trick's on Jimmy. Del finds the badge and puts it in in Meep's trailer. Meep is sent to jail. A bunch of baddies kill him. The police later drive by the circus and throw Meep's tiny body out. How sad. I didnt know Meep well but he didnt deserve that (even if he did bite heads off of chickens). Del you have got to go!!! Jimmy, Elsa and I all agree.

These Guys Better Lay Low Until Maggie & Stanley Leave

In episode 3 "Edward Mordrake Part 1" we meet several new characters. There are two con artists. Stanley is played by Denis O'Hare. He hasnt arrived at the circus yet . All we know about him thus far is he has a large dangling appendage (oh and that he likes boys). His cohort Maggie is pretending to be a fortune teller named Madame Esmerelda (Emma Roberts). She already has Elsa hooked with visions of fame. Stanley and Maggie are on the lookout for medical curiosities they can steal/kidnap/sell. And of course Dot and Bette fit the bill perfectly.

Poor Ethel (This Was A Great Scene)

Ethel finds out she's dying of cirrhosis of the liver. She wants Del to man up and be a father to Jimmy. Speaking of "manning up" there's marital troubles between Del and Desiree. He needs the 1950s equivalent of Viagra (whatever that is).

Eddie Should Consider Joining The Cast Of "Penny Dreadful". He'd Fit Right In.

Dont ask the freaks to perform on Halloween because they wont. If they do, one or more of them will be killed by Edward Mordrake (the man with two faces). Edward apparently was a real person. See Poor Edward for more info. However this whole tie in with freaks and Halloween seemed convoluted to me. How bout you? Of course Elsa has to do a little Lana del Rey number (Ryan try to remember this is not "Glee") and so Eddie shows up. Somebody's gotta die (and it's not Ethel).

Dandy, You Are Getting On Patti Labelle's Last Nerve!

In clown news: Twisty has kidnapped some kid who was tormenting his little sister. See that's what ya get. Dandy dresses up a clown and threatens to kill Dora. But its a dull knife and Patti LaBelle isnt taking any shit off of anyone (especially a whiny punk ass white teenager). Im an seriously love Patti on this show. It would be BRILLIANT if Dora ended up killing Dandy (or at least punched him in his spoiled face). However I fear Dandy will get Twisty to off her instead.

You Might Want To Reconsider This Surgery

Bette and Dot dream of being separated by a surgeon. One thinks its a wonderful idea and the other knows its a nightmare. One says she'll miss the other. My goal for next week is to be able to finally tell them apart. Yes, I know I aim high!

Pepper Wants Meat Loaf!

Favorite Quotes:

"Yoo hoo clown! Do you do children's parties."- Gloria Mott to Twisty the Clown.
"Puppetry is a sad cousin to a live performance."- Dandy to Twisty.
"Three titties, proper girl parts and a ding a ling. I'm a full blown hermaphrodite. Put that on your banner."- Desiree. And when Elsa asks Del what that makes him he says "the happiness man on earth".
"Snails, how boring" and later "babies are more boring than anything"- Dandy to his mother.
"If it aint old Honest Abe herself"- Del to Ethel (the bearded lady).
"Your silence is utterly provocative but youll have to earn your keep Clown."- Dandy to Twisty.
"That boy's working my last nerve."- Dora about Dandy.

Grade: 4 Monsters (out of 5). I would have given the show a higher rating if it werent so long. You know I love ya AHS but when am episode gets to 1 hr and 20 minutes something needs to be edited. I continue to enjoy Patti LaBelle looking thoroughly disgusted at Dandy. Ryan Murphy I dont know how you got her on this show but you sir are a genius!