Hemlock Grove Episodes 10-13 Recaps: What The Hell Just Happened??? (Season Finale)

If you haven't watched the rest of "Hemlock Grove" turn back now. Below is my futile attempt to figure out what is all means: 

• I thought Norman would play a more prominent role in the ending. I guess he was just there to dispense psychological and fatherly advice, have sex with Olivia and look all rugged. 
• Does anyone know how many cigarettes were smoked during this show? I don't think the residents of Hemlock Grove need to worry about a werewolf because they're all going to die of lung cancer. I think I got some second hand smoke just from watching it. 
• What is the dealio with Shelly? I get that she died and was reanimated by the Institute. Johann gave her a big giant's body (since apparently there were no smaller bodies available that day)? Had the Harlem Globetrotters been traveling through town and one died in a nasty bus crash? Why does Shelly glow at times and have one normal eye and one giant bug eye? 
• Speaking of death, why oh why did they kill Clementine? I get that Olivia was hungry but couldn't Johann take her to the Institute and patch her back up? She was one of my favorite characters. After all of her angst, she died a very un climatic death. I'm going to start a "Bring Back Clementine" protest. She and Destiny could start a psychic investigation agency together. 
• I enjoyed the scene where Peter's mom left after the town crazies attacked her trailer. She put down a sheet, threw some stuff in it, grabbed her fishing poles and left. That's the way to stay alive lady! Everyone else on this show should take some lessons from Lynda. 
• I would like to officially take credit for predicting that Christine was the killer. I had hoped it was the Sworn sisters but Christine was good too. Whoever is the most innocent looking person on any show is the killer. The way Christine became the werewolf was hokey though. Can't ya think of anything better than her drinking water out of a werewolf's paw print? Anything? And why when talking to Peter did she have a demon voice and refer to herself in the third person? Peter doesn't act that way and he's a werewolf. And while I agree that puberty turns many a teen into monsters that whole line about budding sexuality, blah, blah was a bit much. 
• The final episode is where I start to get really confused. Leatha sees that Peter is dead in wolf form but wait... He's back. it was just a psych out. Shelly gets shot (twice) by Sherriff Sworn and then runs into the woods. And didn't Peter say that the sacrifice for him turning was his "human face". Well it looks just fine to me now. Did I miss something? Maybe its because Leatha saved him because she loved him? "True love is magic" according to "Once Upon A Time" so we'll go with that. 
• Did Leatha have Roman's baby and then Olivia wanted him to eat it? That is so wrong on a number of different levels. Also if Leatha's love saved Peter why didn't it work the other way around? I guess he didn't love her that much. And Pryce can't bring her back to life either? Sure, you can grow a baby in the basement (the Ouraboros project) but ya can't bring a recently deceased girl back to life? You suck as a mad scientist. 
• So Olivia and Roman are vampires (which we suspected from the start) so that's no surprise. What i dont get is the deal about him becoming an angel or dragon or whatever? Make up your mind already. Are you an angel or a dragon? Cause theyre not the same thing. And what is Roman supposed to become the king of? I dont see any other vampires running around there to lead. Also Olivia and Roman are apparently the types of vampires (upirs) that can roam around during the day. There are references to them in Russian mythology: http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?204270-Vampir-in-Mythic-Russia-Russian-cultural-knowledge-required/page3
• Also we still don't know what was in those eye drops that Olivia kept using. And did Olivia ever wear anything other than white? I don't remember if she did. Oh well, I guess none of it matters since she's dead (and without a tongue).
• Why are all the major female characters dead by the end of the episode-- Leatha, Olivia, Clementin, Christina, the Sworn sisters? Lynda is the only one still alive and its because she skipped town with her fishing poles. And they tried to kill Shelly but she was already dead. Did any guys get killed on this show? Only one I remember is Roman's father (who Olivia killed and made it look like a suicide). 
• How much of this was all a dream? Remember in the beginning episode when Peter was asleep in the hammock? What if he dreamed the whole thing? That would allow all the characters to come back but have different endings-- Groundhod Day, Hemlock Grove style. 

From Wikipedia:

Episode 11 "The Price"
Peter and his mother hide from vigilantes seeking the killer, while Christina disappears, and Roman finally begins to face the truth about his nature. 

Episode 12 "Children Of The Night"
As Olivia and Chasseur face off at the Mill, Shelley learns the awful truth about her family, and Peter and Roman uncover the killer's identity. 

Episode 13 "Birth"
The tragic conclusion the Hemlock Grove killing spree leaves both the Godfrey and Rumancek families devastated, with the final horror yet to come.

Grade 4 Monsters (out of 5). Yes the critics hated it. Yes the writing and dialogue were all over the place at times. Yes the accents came and went. Yes there was way too much smoking. Yes I still don't understand what happened in the last episode. I still loved it anyway. I would like to see a season 2 but there aren't many characters left to continue with. 

World According To GMonster
TV:  Heavy On Sci Fi, Horror & Adventure; Light On Reality

June 2, 2013

1:00 PM