AHS Hotel Season 5 Episodes 3-12 Reviews: Checkout Time (Season Finale)

I have been a HUGE fan of "AHS" since the first episode of "Murder House". But I just didnt feel it for season 5 (as is evident by my taking so long to write this review). "Hotel" was high on gore and excess but low on characters I could invest in. Most were despicable people (except for Liz). I am not alone. Many of my coworkers/friends had the same opinion. A number quit watching before the season end.

Now that I'm done complaining, here's how "Hotel" closed out. "AHS" has a history of putting what should be the season finale several episodes before the actual ending. There are typically a number of loose story threads that are never adequately wrapped up. I'm happy to report this was NOT the case with "Hotel". "Checkout Time" was an appropriate ending IMHO. It was also surprisingly upbeat (especially for "AHS").

The future of the Cortez is safe thanks to Liz's business plan. She becomes the spokesperson for Will (who disappeared since he cant leave the hotel). The small VIP only fashion shows held at the Cortez are an instant hit. March reminds everyone they only have to keep the hotel afloat until August 2026 (when it becomes a historical landmark and cant be torn down).

Thanks to money earned from the Countess' art collection, the hotel undergoes a big transformation with a number of the rooms being renovated. Too bad the deadies keep offing everyone. A house meeting a called. Iris tries to convince them that killing the customers is bad for business. Most of the regulars are there (Sally, Will, Marcie, the Swedish girls, etc). "If the ghosts keep killing the guests, we're going to have zero stars (on Yelp)." James March appears and threatens Sally with torture by the Addiction Demon. That scares her into compliance.

Speaking of Sally, she is FINALLY able to fill the gaping hole in her soul but taking to the internet. She becomes a social media maven. Thanks to her newest addiction, Sally throws her works out the windows. Too funny!

Billie Dean Howard (remember her from way back in "Murder House") visits the hotel. She's also played by the fabulous Sarah Paulson. Billie Dean is first brought in to try to communicate with Tristan for Liz. Tristan never shows. She does connect Donovan and Iris though.

Fast forward to October 30, 2022. Howard makes the hotel too popular with the paranormal crowd. She brings a film crew to film her contact with deceased spirits (particularly John Lowe-- The Ten Commandments Killer). John as you recall died outside the hotel so is not a ghost like the others. He can only appear on Devil's Night. He takes Billie Dean to meet with the usual dinner guests-- Mr March, John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Aileen Wuornos, the Night Stalker and the Zodiac Killer. John tells her NEVER to mention the hotel again or terrible things will happen. She retorts with they cant follow her since they're stuck in the hotel. Ramona arrives. Being a vampire, she can go wherever she wants and informs Billie thusly. Problem solved. Later John shared a tender moment with his grown daughter Scarlett. John's vampire family (wife Alex and son Holden) are back staying at the hotel again too.

Liz reconnects with her son and is there when he and his wife have a baby. She is still lonely though. Liz wants to be killed in order to spend eternity with her "family". Everyone is called together (Sally, Will, Mrs Evers, etc). They are about to kill her when the Countess arrives. She takes her metal finger dohicky. Saying "you were always my fondest creation" she slashes Liz's throat. Liz is reunited with Tristan who says he always loved her. OK then. I have a hard time buying that couple.

The season ends with the Countess finding a new young man at the bar. She says "you have a jawline for days" and with that the season ends. What did you think of "AHS: Hotel"? Please leave your thoughts in the comments below.

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Episode Guide:

Episode 1: "Checking In"
Episode 2: "Chutes and Ladders"
Episode 3: "Mommy"
Episode 4: "Devil's Night"
Episode 5: "Room Service"
Episode 6: "Room 33"
Episode 7: "Flicker"
Episode 8: "The Ten Commandments Killer"
Episode 9: "She Wants Revenge"
Episode 10: "She Gets Revenge"
Episode 11: "Battle Royale"
Episode 12: "Be Our Guest"

Grade: 3 1/2 Monsters (out of 5). Sorry, "AHS" I just didnt feel it this season. The episodes were too long and needed to be seriously edited at times. Most of the characters were despicable. Yes, I'm happy Lady Gaga won a Golden Globe for "Best Actress in a Mini Series". Unfortunately she still didnt save the show for me. "Asylum" remains by far my favorite season. "Hotel" is at the bottom of the list.