Orange Is The New Black Season 2 Episodes 10 Thru 13 Recaps: Dont Be Rude (Season Finale)

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Drive Miss Rosa! Drive And Dont Look Back!

I finally finished the rest of season 2 of "Orange Is The New Black". Here's where everyone is at the end of the season 2:

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Oh This Is SO Not Going To End Well

Prisoners:

Vee Parker made a GREAT addition to the cast. I cant imagine life at Litchfield without her. We also learn in a flashback that Vee had her "foster" son RJ killed after having sex with him (because he wanted to go out on his own). That woman is stone cold and a master manipulator (and I LOVE her).
Poor Suzanne (ie "Crazy Eyes"). Vee frames her for Red's slocking (which is a beatdown with a lock inside a sock). Then she convinces Suzanne that she was to blame. Vee takes Suzanne's lock (named "Lady Locksley") to further frame her. It looks like Suzanne will be sent to maximum security for attempted murder until Healy has Luschek forge a work order saying she was in electrical at that time. Red also told Healy that Suzanne was innocent. All of Vee's crew told the SIS it was Vee as well.
Pennsatucky gets some new teeth this season and begins to grow as a character. She joins Mr Healey's Safe Place meetings. She strikes up a friendship with Boo who strings her along with top secret information about the "gay agenda". Hilarity ensures.
Speaking of Big Boo, she rats on Red to Vee which of course leads to Red being beat to a bloody pulp. Big Boo doesnt have many morals. I hope we see her back story next year. Nicky finally convinces her to give up the location of Vee's heroin stash. And I really hope Nicky doesnt start doing drugs again.
Red has a redemptive arc this season. She is finally able to get her friends back. Her son helps start a business by sneaking contraband (nail polish, food, etc) into the prison (through a pipe under the greenhouse). When Piper was on 48 hour furlough she attempts to visit Red's restaurant (but it is boarded up). She can not bring herself to tell Red the truth. And we learn why there is bad blood between Vee and Red. They used to be friends but Vee screwed her over and had her badly beaten years ago. And now we see the same thing again. Poor Red acts tough but she really is too soft. You should know by now that Vee absolutely CAN NOT be trusted.
We learn more about Sister Ingall. She was excommunicated before going to prison. Seems she was more focused on competition and personal promotion than being of service to God. After she joins the hunger strike and is force fed by the prison, other nuns start a vigil outside.
In one of the most surprising story lines of season 2, we learn that Morello is straight up bat shit crazy. She has been stalking Christopher since their one and only date. She breaks into Christopher's house. Christopher visits her in prison and threatens her if she ever comes near his family again. She and Nicky get back together. I still love you Morello (even if you are crazy)!
After being rejected by Vee, Taystee again becomes friends with Poussey. We've seen some of Taystee and Vee's past this year. Does Vee know how to work people or what? And we saw a surprising side of Poussey with her girlfriend in Germany. Her father was stationed there. Who knew Poussey spoke German? My one gripe with the Taystee / Poussey story line is Taystee should have taken up for Poussey BEFORE she was beaten. They only become friends again AFTER Taystee is rejected by Vee (since Poussey destroying part of Vee's stash).
Miss Rosa is dying of cancer but the administration wont give her compassionate release.
Gloria catches Norma trying to make arsenic from apples. She helps her by doingn some sort of spell/curse. We've also seen some of Gloria's back story with her boyfriend, mother and children. Deep down inside she is a good person in bad circumstances.
Black Cindy was previously a TSA airport agent. Her daughter is living with her mother. She believes Cindy is her sister. I hope we get to see more about Cindy's past soon.
Brooke Soso talks incessantly and starts a hunger strike. Sister Ingall eventually joins her (but everyone else bails after the prison orders pizza). Brooke doesnt really have any friends or group to belong to so her time in prison is very lonely.
The older ladies (ie the "Golden Girls") also get expanded parts. They take in Red after she's rejected by her crew. They threaten the kitchen girls in order to get Red's stuff back. They also plot to kill Vee (but Red doesnt know this). They end up stabbing the wrong inmate.
Alex visits Piper in prison. Alex is going to violate her parole and skip town before she gets killed. Larry and Polly visit Piper in prison to talk about their relationship. Piper rants but later calls them. She asks them to contact Alex's probation officer and tell him she's about to violate probation (and will be sent back to jail). I guess we'll be seeing much more of her in season 3.
In the end, Nicky steals Vee's heroin stash. All of Vee's crew turns against her after she frames Suzanne. Vee sneaks out of prison through the pipe in the greenhouse. The prison goes on lockdown. Morello leaves the keys in the van with Rosa in it. Rosa makes a break for it so she doesnt have to die in prison. As Rosa is driving down the road who does she see but Vee. She swerves and hits her. Vee appears dead. I definitely didnt see that coming but it the perfect ending for both Rosa and Vee.

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I'm Mr Heat Miser, I'm Mr Sun, I'm Mr Heat Miser, I'm Mr 101. They Call Me Heat Miser. What Ever I Touch, Starts To Melt In My Clutch. I'm Too Much.

(And yes I did that from memory. Are you impressed?)

Guards:

The guards and administration also get more air time.
Fig finally gets hers for embezzling from the prison and she finds out that her politician husband is really gay. She resigns instead of facing scandal. People like that always come off smelling like a rose.
Piper explains Fig's scheme to Caputo who tells the warden. We also learn that he plays in a rock band. Caputo is a good guy that's trying to do right by the prisoners. I hope he doesnt become corrupted by his new job as Interim Deputy Warden.
Pornstache (Mendez) is of course sent to prison for supposedly fathering Daya's child. He adds a lot to the show since he's great to hate. Will he be back?
Daya tries to encourage Bennett to turn himself in so he can eventually be the baby's father. He finally tells Caputo that the baby is really his. Caputo reacts in a surprising way. He tells Bennett to keep his mouth shut about it or he'll send Daya to a much worse facility.
Healy has seen a lot of development this season as well. He goes to a therapist, starts his Safe Place group and is trying to become a better person. Baby steps, Healy. Baby steps.
O'Neill and the female guard Bell are an item. He is great as he confronts the nuns who are supporting Sister Ingall's hunger strike. He has past nun issues since he went to Catholic school.

Favorite Quotes:

"Her hair is like the heat miser in that Christmas special"- Suzanne about Red to Healy.
"You've been lording over this group like some Hillary Clinton dictator."- Leanne to Pennsatucky.
"It's so disappointing to be underestimated as you age"- Irma of the Golden Girls.
"The thing about reality is that it's still there waiting for you the next day"- Miss Rosa.
"Seriously, enough of the clitorference."- Big Boo.
"It's a metaphor you potato with eyes"- Pennsatucky to Leanne.
"She was the love of my life"- Piper about Alex.
"God this is the lonliest place I've ever been and I lived in a tree for eight months"- Sosa.
"Did it ever occur to you that we don't want to get in touch with our feelings? That feeling our feelings might make it impossible to survive in here?"- Poussey to Healey.
"Mendez is back bitches!". Nope he's gone again, never mind.
O'Neill's songs with his banjolele (banjo/ukelele combo) to the nuns were absolutely HILARIOUS. "This is a little song about the nuns. Fiercer, meaner, crueler, ruder than the Huns. I am forced to babysit them, when I thought that I had quit them. Oh I kinda hope they all get the runs."
"Run nuns run!"- O'Neill to the nuns as Rosa storms the gate in the prison van.
"Always so rude, that one."- Miss Rosa after she runs over Vee as "Don't Fear The Reaper" plays on the radio.

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Free Concert For The Nuns

Grade: 5 Monsters (out of 5). A great second season and especially perfect finale. I was worried when the focus of the show moved from Piper and Alex but seeing the back stories of other prisoners (and staff) was a wonderful addition. I cant wait for season 3. Go Miss Rosa go!