Hemlock Grove Season 3 Episodes 1-3 Reviews The Weirdness Continues (Season Premiere)

Netflix released the third and final season of "Hemlock Grove" last week. There are 10 episodes total. For those of you who havent seen the show before, it is at times a hot mess. The characters and the plots are all the place. It has some of the strangest dialogue around. But obviously something is working because I'm still watching. There's just enough craziness to keep me coming back. See my previous reviews here: Hemlock Grove Reviews

To catch you up to speed, the show takes place in Hemlock Grove, Pennsylvania. It centers on Roman who is an upir (that's vampire to you and me), his mother Olivia (also an upir) and Peter who is a vargulf (a werewolf). Peter's cousin Destiny (a psychic) has his back. Peter's mother Lynda went off to Romania last year and hasnt been seen since (although she sends word she's fine). Roman's sister Shelley is half human, half something that looks like an alien. There are assorted other strange creatures about.

Season 3 opens with Peter turning into a werewolf so he and some other gypsy wolfie friends can steal a truck. The contents are worth a million plus dollars. Peter at first likes Andreas but later decides he can't be trusted after witnesses his shady business dealings. Andreas proposes to Destiny so we know he's a goner soon.

Roman and Peter are still on the lookout for Miranda and baby Nadia (who has some crazy powers of her own). Remember Nadia is the child of Roman and Leatha (who turned out to be Roman's half sister). We last saw Miranda and Nadia flying away with lizard doctor Spivak.

I've Decided To Make A Career Change

Dr Pryce is having his own problems and seems completely manic thanks to the pills he's popping. I did enjoy his drum solo though. He's trying to create a new body for Shelley since Priscella is dead. Roman wants Pryce's help to find the baby. Olivia also wants his help doing the same thing. She says he can keep Spivak's body for medical experimentation as a bonus. I dont think Johann is too happy to help Olivia given she called the FBI on him. He immediately had his staff destroy all their research. But it was a fake out. They were there about some minute issue with paperwork. Now Roman's nutrient drink is gone too. He must find another source of blood.

This Poor Girl Can Never Catch A Break

Shelley is sent back to live with her mother (which she's none too happy about). Remember Olivia is the cause of Shelley not having a new body. That woman is evil! Shelley tries to kill herself by hanging from a tree but the limb breaks. Olivia is still hiding Uncle Norman's death from Shelley. We all know Olivia killed him. Shelley ends up at a homeless encampment known as Rooster Poot (nice name!) and meets a guy named Aitor Quantic. I dont trust him.

WTF Is Going On Around Here?

Flash over to Spivak. He is held up with Miranda and baby Nadia in a remote cabin. His nurse is also there against her will. She stabs him in the neck but it doesnt do any good. He spits on her and acid melts her face. She's a goner. Amanda escapes at one point but goes right back to him. She may be as crazy as everyone else.

Olivia is using Roman's private detective for her own investigation. Spivak is from Germany and really old. Olivia tries to feed but becomes violently ill. This is apparently AFTER she drains lots of blood from Chasseur (who she had hanging in her bathtub). Is he dead or will we see him again? Pryce determines that Spivak gave her a "flu shot". We have no idea what was really i that.

There is a new killer in town. It wears a hood and has claws. During a gross and super fun autopsy session, Dr Pryce, Annie and Roman learn that the culprit is a mutated upir. Apparently a parasitic creature took over the upir's body and made it attack it's own kind. This reminded me of the autopsy scene from "The Strain" where they pull out a giant stinger.

Annie (who is also an upir) takes Roman to an upir professor friend. He says Spivak is a Jarmungandr. Remember all the Ouroboros imaginary from the title sequence and throughout the show? He's connected to that in some convoluted manner. I didnt get all of it. And, oh yeah, it's a sign of the end of days. Well, that can't be good. While the three are chatting, the house is attached by more mutated upirs. They run to the barn. That would be the last place I would go (but no one asked me). Nate is killed. That's good cause he was a jerk. Roman discovers that the infected are afraid of light. I thought vampires were afraid of daylight normally? Mental Note: Don't go outside during the dark.

Episode Guide:

Episode 1: "A Place To Fall"
Episode 2: "Souls On Ice"
Episode 3: "The House In The Woods"
Episode 4: "Every Beast"
Episode 5: "Box In The Box"
Episode 6: "Pendant"
Episode 7: "Todo Santos"
Episode 8: "Dire Night On The Worm Moon"
Episode 9: "Damascus"
Episode 10: "Brian's Song"

Grade: 4 Monsters (out of 5). I would give these episodes a 3 1/2 but "Hemlock Grove" is so delightfully bizarre that it wins me over. Buzz on the internet is that this show will NOT have a happy ending. I'm interested to see how they wrap it up. They could so something similar to the season 1 finale where all the major characters appeared to be dead.