Stalker Epis 12-14 Recaps: Less Talking And More Stalking Please

CBS's "Stalker" continues to chug along without much fanfare. I keep waiting for it to be cancelled but so far it's still kickin'.

"Secrets and Lies" finds Beth and the TAU investigating a stalking case against the mayor. Beth of course is personal friends with the mayor. The culprit, wearing an evil court jester costume, menaces the major and a woman he's been seeing. We all could see that the stalker was the mayor's son from a mile away. But in a twist, the mayor is not having an affair. The woman is actually his daughter. And, oh yeah, she's a hooker. She has her own stalker (because hooker's customers are always falling in love with them). It's Dr Archie Hopper from "Once Upon A Time". He probably just wants to offer her free therapy. He doesnt have many customers left back in Storeybrooke Maine.

So the woman ends up at the son's place. She thinks he's a paying customer. He knows she is his sister. She sees the jester mask and runs. But she doesnt make it far. She runs right into Hopper. The lovesick guy is actually a violent stalker. He tries to chuck her over a bridge but Jack and Beth arrive in the nick of time. The mayor's family is happily reunited (until the press gets wind of their story).

In the other story line, Janice has hauled Perry in. She tells Amanda the real situation with Beth. Perry skips town. His family doesnt know where he is. We see that he's visiting Beth's other stalker (Ray) in prison. Jack finds Beth crying in her office. He says he wants to help if she will let him.

Any Chance These Two Will Become A Couple?

In "The News" a television anchor (John Bardo) receives a frightening text of someone watching his teenage daughter. The TAU is called in. Next John and his girlfriend Lauren (hello Erin Daniels, aka Dana from "The L Word") are attached by a man. The guy (Sam Russell) turns out to be John's previous stalker who broke out of prison in order to protect John. Apparently he's not the culprit but he is mentally deranged.

Next John is shot while at home. Luckily he's just grazed. This stalker means business. The TAU investigates John's rival at the station, Keith. Sure he hated John and his stupid face but he's not the stalker. They then turn their attentions to John's co worker but she just wanted to have sex with him. She and her husband are in an open relationship and like to entertain lots of men.

Meanwhile sleaze ball Perry has bailed Ray out of the hospital by getting an expert to attest to his mental health. That part of the story was very weak. The guy killed Beth's husband and child for God's sake. It should be a little harder to get him released. Anyway, Beth is justifiably frightened.

And yep the stalker turns out to be... wait for it... Lauren. Lauren (whose real name is Candice) is obsesses with Keith and thus trying to remove John (so Keith can have his old job back). Yep she's cuckoo. John manages to jump her while she's talking to Keith in the control room. OK who didnt see that coming? She was the only other character in the show. Pretty lame (although I love Erin Daniels).

The Other Members Of Team Beth (Janice and Ben). Did You Know Janice Is Played By Mariana Klaveno (Who Was Also Lorena On "True Blood"?

The team rallies around Beth/Michelle. Now all 3 primary members of the TAU plus Amanda know about Beth's past. The team heads over to Beth's with a pizza to keep her company.

"My Hero" opens with two love birds (Nicole and Dave) on the beach. Dave proposes but the ring is too big. A hooded character later bumps into him and steals the ring. Dave chases the guy into the fun house but he escapes. A red truck has been following them for weeks as well. The TAU team become involved. The ex boyfriend/girlfriend are interviewed. Of course they're not the culprits. Later Dave is set on fire and killed. That is definitely a bad way to go.

The TAU uncovers a boy named Pedro drowned while on Nicole's watch. His parents had previously filed a lawsuit. That night Nicole is packing up her stuff in her guard tower when she runs into ex Mike. They hear a sound under the pier. Mike investigates and is knocked unconscious. He almost drowns. Nicole does CPR on him (cause, ya know, that's what lifeguards do).

They interrogate Isabella (Pedro's mother). She has a red truck. She wants Nicole to suffer for what happened to her son. Next Nicole finds someone in her house and runs out screaming. They've been living in the crawl space for months.

The team discovered that Zoe was rescued by Nicole previously when she tried to commit suicide. Is she the culprit? She later tells Nicole that she "loves" her (as in L-O-V-E-S). Zoe proposes at the pier (where Nicole rescued her). That does go as she hoped so on to plan B. Zoe and Nicole will jump off the pier so they'll be together forever. Jack saves Zoe in the nick of time. Poor Nicole is having a rough week. She gets engaged but her boyfriend is set on fire and killed. Her best friend turns out to be an obsessed stalker who has been secretly spying on her for weeks. It might be time to go back to Australia for a while.

Amanda invited Jack to their house for dinner with Ethan and his friends. This causes conflict with Trent (Amanda's current boyfriend). Trent tells Amanda he will "sit this one out" (which sounds like he's breaking up with her).

Beth heads home telling the team they dont need to watch her 24/7. The doorbell rings. Jack invites himself over. He seems drunk and a little pushy. Beth thinks about asking him to leave but doesnt. Are these two going to have a love connection? Meanwhile Perry and Ray are nowhere to be seen but Beth feels certain they are in LA.

Grade: 3 Monsters (out of 5). This may be the last time I recap "Stalker". I do enjoy Beth's stalker story line but most of the cases of the week are lamo and easily figured out. The culprit is whoever else is in the person's life that is not interviewed by the BAU first. That usually only leaves one person. We really need more compelling stories. And less talking and more stalking please.