House Of Cards Season 3 Epis 1-2 Reviews: The Underwoods Take Over The White House (Season Premiere)

Season 3 opens with President Frank Underwood visiting the grave of his father. And if ya dont know how he went from the House of Representatives to the Vice Presidency to the Presidency without being elected, you should watch seasons one and two. We think Frank's visiting the grave is for sentimental reason. Instead it's for a photo op-- everything Frank does is for show. He also pees on his father's headstone when no one is looking.

Much to my surprise we see Doug has barely survived being bashed in the head by a rock courtesy of Rachel. He has some brain damage and a long recovery period. Remy is Doug's temporary replacement as Chief of Staff. Claire visits Doug's hospital room. She coaches him on what to say to the police about the incident. Some guy carjacked him. He is to mention nothing of Rachel.

As soon as Doug gets home, he tells his brother Gary to hit the road. Those two obviously have a strained relationship. Doug later meets with Gavin the hacker (Cashew's daddy) and tells him to keep looking for Rachel. She can cause major damage to the Underwoods if she opens her mouth.

That Was Painful to Watch

Doug falls in the tub. He breaks his arm and then sets it with a wooden spoon and electrical tape. He puts bourbon is a syringe and instead of injecting the hooker with it, he has her squirt it in his mouth. This guy has more serious issues than I thought.

Things are not going as well for Frank's presidency as he had hoped. His jobs program, America Works, is not positively received. His approval ratings are lower than Walker's before he was impeached. Claire wants to be Ambassador to the United States. Frank is opposed but she finally wins him over. She wants to set herself up for some position in the future if he is not reelected.

A No Faith Vote

In episode 2, Claire has her congressional nomination hearing. She is baited by one of the senators. She falls for it, loses her cool, and gets lots of bad PR. She later calls all the senators directly to try to recover from the incident. Meanwhile the top democratic leadership meets with Frank about America Works. They tell him they will NOT back him in the 2016 campaign (which is 16 months away). He tries to get support but cant get any backing either. They are both striking out.

And The Award For Strangest Marriage Goes To...

Clarie goes out for a run. When she returns she finds Frank sobbing on the floor. They have some weird sex. I still dont understand their marriage but whatever.

Jackie meets with Remmy. She wants to be Frank's VP in exchange for throwing her support to Underwood. She then starts leaking info to a reporter. Remember Jackie and Remmy used to be an item back in season one.

The final tally for Claire's confirmation to the United Nations is 52 to 48 against. Claire is crushed by the loss but wont show it. Later Claire tells Frank she wants to be a "recess appointment" UN Ambassador. She gets it thanks to Frank's support (although it is highly unusual). Meanwhile Claire has another mini breakdown in the kitchen. I'm not sure what that's about.

And If You Need A Refresher On Who Is Doing What To Whom

Favorite Quotes:

"It's the first time the President of the United States has visited Gaffney (South Carolina)."
"No one showed up for his funeral except for me... not even my mother."- Frank about his father.
"Terrible how quickly Margery went"- Frank about his VP Donald's wife who had Alzheimers.

Grade: 4 Monsters (out of 5). A good solid start to a new season. I cant wait to see what Frank and Claire burn and pillage this year.