The Strain Episode 9 Recap: Quick Everyone To The Bat Cave

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Stick Together People. As Everyone Who's Ever Watched a Horror Movie Knows, If You Wander Off Alone , Put on Lingerie, Or Have Sex You Will Be Killed.

In "The Disappeared" Zach returns home to find that his replacement Daddy (Matt) has turned into a vamp. The A (for Abraham) Team arrives in their bread truck in the nick of time. Eph gives Matt a few sharp blows to the head with a shovel. Dont tell me he wasnt itching to do anyway (since the guy stole his wife and son). Speaking of the wife, Kelly is nowhere to be seen. Did she survive? Eph says "she's smart" but I havent seen any evidence of that thus far.

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Gus, Take Your Hot Little Body And Run Like The Wind!

Meanwhile poor Gus is still locked up with Felix (who is near death). Felix turns while they are all chained together in the transport van. Luckily Gus manages to grab the keys and shoot Felix before he gets throat sucked. Gus takes off running.

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I'm Brilliant, Beautiful & Emotionally Damaged. I'm Perfect For This Show.

I'm liking the character of Dutch. She is constantly looking for booze. She goes back to her apartment only to find her girlfriend stole all her money and her laptop. Her neighbor stops by but he's been vamped. Dutch has nowhere else to go so she stays with the group. She later tells Abe that she is responsible for taking down the internet. Now Abe has a way to find Palmer (which will lead to Eichorst and the Master).

Why are Nora and Eph spending time wrapping the dead boyfriend/ Sears manager in plastic? Its not like the police are going to show up and find him. Just leave him there. Well they do have sexy times afterwards (so I guess it was worth it). Diane interrupts though. Go away Diane. Zach isnt answering her texts so she was worried (and she doesnt like Eph or Nora). We all know Diane's going to face a nasty end. Yeah!

How stupid is Eph? He says he loves his wife and would do anything for her (right in front of a woman who is obviously in love with him). The expression on Nora's face says it all. Eph may be book smart but he's really stupid when it comes to the ladies.

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Feel Free To Hate On Me But I'm The One Keeping Your Stupid Asses Alive!

Everyone else returns to the bat cave (ie Abe's secret chamber in his basement).They are greeted by Nora's mother who says she refuses to cook for all of them. Too funny. Anyway Fet decides to leave to pick up some stuff at his house. Seriously? Vampires are roaming the streets and you have to run home for your toothbrush? There is power in numbers! And why cant these people hear me yelling at the TV?

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Someone Needs A Facial And A Manicure STAT! And Where Do You Get Rings To Fit Those Big Ole Fingers?

And we FINALLY get a closer look at the Master thanks to the 1940s flashbacks. We see him turn Eichorst but slashing his arm with his long fingernail and then sending a worm to do its thing. The Master is one gigantic ugly noseless creature. Remember Bat Boy from the Weekly World News? Well he looks like Bat Boy Sr. I do love me some Bat Boy though! Was the Master everything you had hoped for? I think I had unrealistic expectations but Daddy Bat Boy is fun too.

Favorite Quotes:

"I cant teach you how to be a human being."- Nora to Fet.
"Who are all these people? I'm not cooking for them."- Nora's mom (who has dementia).
"I need your help. You're unsentimental."- Abe to Fet.
"Where is your God? There is no one to help you wood carver."- the Master to Abraham.

Grade: 4 Monsters (out of 5). I would have given the episode a 3 1/2 since the beginning was pretty slow but extra points since got to see the Master. That guy's ready for Halloween all year round.