Hemlock Grove Season 2 Episodes 9 Thru 10 Recaps: Its A Bird Its A Plane Its An Obstetrician (Season Finale)

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Please Step Away From The Blue Eyed Demon Baby

I wasnt sure what to expect from the season 2 finale. At the end of season 1 there was an all out bloodbath with most of the major characters being killed. Luckily a few of them (ie Olivia) came back from what appeared to be certain death. The finale of season 2 was equally as exciting (if not more so). Below are the highlights. Dont take my word for it though. You definitely need to see the last two episodes for yourself.

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I Gotta Update My Resume And Get Out of This Crazy Town!

Pryce tells Roman he has one more treatment and then he will no longer be upir. Roman quits the therapy at the last minute though. Instead he goes to juice himself with Prycilla's waste products. And he quit therapy just in the nick of time because Galina was trying to kill him (remember Olivia needs somebody's blood to heal). Galina is later discovered by Pryce and Olivia dead in the tank. I was sad to see her go. I loved her character and wanted to see more of Galina's back story. She would have been an excellent foe for Olivia.

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I Really Wanted To Learn More About Galina. Cant They Find A Way To Regenerate Her Next Season?

Olivia confronts Pryce about what he did to Shelley. Pryce says Olvia doesnt care about Shelley. She doesnt care about anyone but herself.

Ms Padilla (the PI working with Norman) tells Sheriff Chasseur that she just stopped Norman from trying to kill Olivia. He repays her by booking her for breaking and entering (from when she took Olivia's prints from her house). I think he's just trying to keep her alive though since he knows Olivia will kill her too.

Poor Peter is still being tortured by the masked freaks. He uses his wolfie powers to escape and calls Destiny. Destiny stages a vargulf intervention since Peter is turning against the moon's cycle. The wolf whisper says if Peter turns again, he will be stuck in wolf form permanently.

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You Guys Arent As Tough As You Think You Are.

The OODs attack Roman's house. They have some really cool crossbows with infrared scopes. Where can I get one of those? Roman arrives in the nick of time and breaks out his battle axe. Remember that from season 1? Of course Peter has to turn into a wolf one last time to save Destiny. In a really cool but gory scene, Roman tears the wolf apart and pulls Peter from inside the animal. Peter is OK... for now. And just when the head baddie is going to shoot baby Nadia, she makes blood comes out of his eyes and he dies. I'm not sure she needs anyone to protect her. She seems to be doing just fine on her own. And it appears that all the members of the rogue OODs are really dead (and we're not at the end of the episode so obviously something else big is going to happen).

Chasseur and Norman team up to kill Olivia. Norman practices killing her on a dead body. Norman confronts Olivia at her house. It appears Olivia has seen the light and is turning her life around. But Norman's having none of it. Instead of killing her, Norman tells her he'd rather see her suffer with cancer instead (and then die a horrible painful death). After Norman's rejection, Olivia decides she's had enough of being nice. We knew that wouldnt last long anyway.

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Can This Poor Girl Please Have A Happy Ending? She Deserves It.

Shelley is ready to complete the procedure to transfer her consciousness to Prycilla. Norman doesnt believe Olivia wont attack NewShelley (in order to cure her cancer). Norman frantically works on OldShelley's body and finally brings her back to life. Poor OldShelley whimpers "why" but she better be happy because Olivia promptly eats NewShelley. Olivia then nonchalantly says "Thanks Johann. I needed that. Now I'm going to find my granddaughter".

Poor Miranda's nipples are getting a workout this season. First she was spontaneously lactating. Then she starts bleeding from them for no reason. Off she goes to see Dr Spivak again. Dr Spivak tells Miranda that none of this would have been possible without her. We dont know what that means but it soon becomes evident that Dr Spivak is not s nice man. In fact he's not even a man. Olivia arrives and they have a knock down drag out fight. Olivia is of course victorious. We see that Spivak has scales under his skin. Is he a lizard? Has "Hemlock Grove" done a crossover with "V"? Miranda and the maid (Anna) struggle over the baby but Nadia does her thing and makes blood come out of Anna's eyes. Again Nadia doesnt need anyone's help.

And remember that weird guy that Peter sold fake drugs to at the beginning of the season... the one who had a thing for testicles? Well he's back and he wants Peter's. We think Peter has to turn into a wolf again to save Destiny but just then her boyfriend Andreas shows up and kills the guy. No we dont know why Andreas has a gun with a silencer. We'll have to find out in season 3.

Everyone (Roman, Miranda, Nadia, Peter, and Destiny) head to the White Tower. And in a scene reminiscent of "Omen" Miranda takes Nadia to see a monkey. Bad idea. Poor little monkey didnt have a chance.

Great scene where the guards were looking for Olivia. They see a life size picture of Roman and company in the conference room. They dont realize that Olivia is hiding inside the picture in plain view.

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Norman and Olivia: The Final Death Match. And Yes Olivia Always Wins (Unless Its Up Against Roman)

The showdown between Olivia and Norman in the corridor is not nearly long enough but is still excellent. He tries to inject her with Pryce's concoction. She rips out his heart and says "It took me 20 years to realize that I wanted your heart. Now its mine." Chasseur then receives a text from Norman's phone which reads "you're next". Uh oh. If I was him, I'd high tail it out of town immediately.

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Godfrey Industries (ie The White Tower)

Miranda takes the baby to the top of the White Tower. She says Nadia was born an angel but Miranda's' DNA turned her into a monster. She jumps from the tower. We think they're goners but just then, the dragon that is Dr Spivak swoops down and catches them both. Roman, Peter, Destiny, Pryce and Olivia look on from below. Yes you read that correctly. DR SPIVAK IS A BIG OLD FREAKING DRAGON! Dont tell me you saw that coming... cause you didnt. And I think that's a dragon. It was a little funky looking. It might be a dragon, demon, vampire bat, giant sting ray, pterodactyl, or something else. Anyway, the winged creature flies away with Miranda and Nadia in tow. Thus ends season 2.

The Best Things About Season 2:

At first I thought the introduction of Miranda was a strange one but she helped pull the Roman and Peter story lines back together. And yes they did have an unexpected three way. I personally am not invested in their relationships but whatever works for ya.
The Russian doctor Galina was one of the best parts of the season. She was great fun to watch. Every time Pryce said her full name it cracked me up.
I'm so glad Dr Pryce got an expanded role this season. I dont think he's entirely evil since he seems to have a warm spot for Shelley. He also has a sparkly sleeping mask so he cant be all bad.
I love Destiny. I'm glad she got some more air time but I'd like to see her get an even bigger part next year. Lydia's prison transport escape was great fun to watch. Thank goodness Destiny knew the recipe for Grandma's Lumilda's Psycholactive Gypsy Brain Fog.
I love to watch Olivia do anything (except maybe sing karaoke). I was seriously disappointed when I thought she was dead last year. The scene with Olivia apologizing to Shelley for not being a better mother was a touching one.
And every show is better with dragons. I think more money should have been spent on the CGI though. It also should not have had Dr Spivak's face. That just didnt work for me at all. The dragon could have said "I'm Dr Arnold Spivak" or something. But dragons are still great. And dragons stealing babies even better!
Can Shelley please have a happy ending? She deserves it after being born into that screwed up family and everything else that's happened to her. The poor woman's fingers snap off for God's sake.
The story line was much more cohesive this season. Last year it was just a mess.
The stupid accents from last year are gone. Yeah.
See my reviews of previous episodes HERE

Favorite Quotes:

"Tell me why that barbie daughter you whipped up downstairs is pretending to be my daughter."- Olivia to Pryce.
"Cut the shit Olivia. You have the maternal instincts of an arachnid. Dont pretend you care about Shelley."- Pryce to Olivia after she pretends to be concerned her daughter.
"Death is the solution to all problems. No man, no problem. Comrade Stalin said that."- Galina to Olivia.
"Love is not something I know how to do."- Olivia to Shelley.
"You found love and in this world that's a good thing."- Shelley to Olivia about Norman.
“Where on Earth have you been? It doesn’t matter. I need a hug."- an emotionally needy Olivia. I personally like the cold bitchy Olivia better.
"May all my enemies turn to ash."- Galina.
"I hate you. I hate all of you."- Miranda to Peter, Roman and Destiny.
It always cracks me up when Pryce calls Galina by her full name. "Born Dr. Galina Zhelezhnova-Burdukovskaya (formerly Alyona Potyomkina-Zosimova) who the Iraqis referred to as something which loosely translated into 'bad news in sensible shoes'". He also refers to as "Death's Bitch" in another episode.
"You seen to know a lot about men's balls. How's that working out for ya?"- Peter to that guy he cheated with the fake drug at the beginning of the season.

Grade: 5 Monsters (out of 5). The last two episodes knocked it out of the park. I give them a 5. For the season as a whole, i'd give it a 4. If you watch "Hemlock Grove" as total camp, you'll enjoy it. Just dont try to make too much sense of what's going on.