Salem Season 2 Epi 6 Review: The Salem Tourist Bureau Welcomes Countess Marburg

Last week Marburg told Mary she left a "gift" for her at home. In "I'll Met By Moonlight" Mary returns to find poor George has been turned into a water fountain. Her familiar (I call him Todd the Toad) luckily crawls out of his throat and escapes drowning. Mary feverishly tries to revive George. She does a spell. She cuts her tongue. She even spills her familiar's blood but but nothing works. George is gone and Mary is royally screwed. Remember Mary's words to Anne last week. "We women are utterly defenseless without a man". Now she has no one to shield her from the evil Hawthorne.

The Countess is officially greeted at the Salem docks. The rest of the poor citizens are dressed in rags and have their mouths covered (the witch pox, ya know). But not Mary and the Countess. They sashay around in their beautiful gowns flashing fake smiles while verbally bitch slapping each other.

Dolly and Issac are still hiding from Mercy. Issac looks better this week for some reason. They decide to board a ship and escape to some exotic location. We know they'll never get out of Salem alive.

The First Rule Of Puritan Fight Club Is...

Hawthorne is drunk at the Puritan bar and brags about his future conquest of Anne (in the most vulgar terms). Cotton overhears him. The fight spills out into the street. Mary and Anne come out of their houses to watch. Anne doesnt want Cotton to kill Hawthorne. Mary wants him to get rid of her enemy once and for all. Cotton, being a better person than me, does not stab Hawthorne. They both end up in Salem jail. Cotton has sexy dreams about Anne.

The Countess then goes for Mary's other weak spot-- Mercy. She takes Mercy back to her ship. Guess who's suspended over the Countess' blood tub this time? It's Dolly. We knew poor Dolly was too sweet to survive for long on this show. Now her blood will be used to rejuvenate Crispy Mercy. Mercy should read the fine print though. You can bet the Countess wants something BIG in return for her help. And I've said it before but the Countess certainly loves to take baths.

Bath Time For Mercy

John is hiding in Anne's house. He's going to kill Anne but instead Tituba throws a wire around his neck and squeezes. Finally she has the witch hunter where she wants him. Over at the cemetery Mary is digging up Increase Mather's head. Yep you heard me right... just the head and nothing else. She needs ammunition against the Countess. I still think this is a VERY bad idea (but no one asked me). Increase almost killed Mary the last time around.

Brown Is Up To Something

Points To Ponder:

Whats up with Brown Jenkins? Is that the same mouse or do they all just look alike? He has scary red beady eyes.
The Countess' son continues to be an unknown. Yes he's a mama's boy but he appears to be just as diabolical as Marburg.
What's become of Mary's familiar (Todd the Toad)? She sliced him open to try to save George. Do familiars die or do they keep coming back-- see Brown Jenkins?
That snot spindle that came out of Mercy's nose was gross but added a touch of authencity. That girl has got to be ozzing all over the place. Imagine how she smells. Yuck!

Grade: 4 Monsters (out of 5). The Countess finally arrives. There is lots of posturing by both Marburg and Mary. I cant wait till those two actually go at it.