House Of Cards Season 2 Episodes 1-2 Recaps: You Do NOT Want Frank Underwood As An Enemy (Season Premiere)

Yeah! The new season of "House of Cards" has FINALLY arrived! Don't read this review if you haven't watched episodes 1-2. I dont want to ruin it for you.

Frank is about to become vice president (so who knows what new trouble he'll get into or what old trouble will come back to haunt him). Frank makes Zoe delete all their communications from her phone.

Claire is still fighting a lawsuit (she fired a pregnant employee). Claire also plays dirty. She sends the wife of the man her ex-employee had an affair with to her house. She cancels her health care coverage. Claire is also planning fertility treatments but later decides against it.

Zoe, Lucas and Janine are still trying to get the dirt on Frank. Zoe believes he killed Russo (which is correct). Lucas and Zoe are still having sex but she is emotionally distant. Doug is still buzzing around doing Frank's dirty work. And in the HOLY SH#T moment of episode 1, Frank pushes Zoe in front of a subway car and kills her. Wow, that man is vicious. Claire sees the report on TV but never blinks an eye. Did she and Frank have a conversation about killing her? He says "I am fully prepared and have been for some time". She says "I know you'll do what you think is best".

Raymond Tusk visits Washington. He, Garrett (the President), Frank, and Cathy (Secretary of State) are in a political battle with the Chinese. Cyberwarfare is one of the points of contention. Jackie Sharp becomes the new House majority whip (taking Franks's place). She is already doing Frank's bidding.

Claire tells Frank that the person who raped her in college is the one he just awarded a medal to. She begs him not to make a scene at the ceremony and he does not.

Lucas carries on after Zoe's death. He's trying to hack Frank's phone records. He attempts to contact Peter Russo's girlfriend, Christina, but she gives him the brush off. Rachel Posner is being hidden in Baltimore and is working for a call center.

The conversation between Frank and the guy at the BBQ place about how pigs are slaughtered was creepy. He said the meat was so tasty because the pigs were bled out. They apparently scream for 10 minutes because they know what is coming. The humane way is to sneak up and hit them in the back of the head. Apparently pigs, like humans, can smell death and fear.

Favorite quotes:

"I'm willing to let your child wither and die inside you if that's what it takes"- Claire to a pregnant ex-employee.
"There is but one rule--hunt or be hunted"- Frank Underwood.
"A heartbeat away from the presidency and not a single vote cast in my name. Democracy is so overrated"- Frank Underwood.
"You'll still feel the hate in the morning. You'll use that but not on him"- Claire to Frank.

Grade: 4 1/2 Monsters (out of 5). I give episode 2 a "5" for the WTF moment. Wow, what a heartless bunch. It's a good thing they dont exist in real life... or do they??? If this is really what the Washington political machine is like we're all in a LOT of trouble. "House of Cards" doesn't name their episodes so these two episodes are just "chapter 14" and "chapter 15".