Vikings Season 3 Episode 10 Review: The Ho Hum Sacking Of Paris (Season Finale)

After two excellent episodes, I gotta say I'm a little disappointed in "The Dead". Last week it appeared Ragnar was about to shuffle off this moral coil. He asked for a Christian baptism in order to see his old pal Athelstan again. This horrified the Vikings (especially Floki).

Would Ragnar really die? I was hoping not. He's the best part of the show. But that's exactly what happens. Floki creates a beautiful casket for him. Everyone says their goodbyes. Lagertha is still in love with him. Rollo is jealous of him. Flocki has a love/hate relationship with him. Ragnar is then carried to the Parisian gates. The pallbearers are allowed inside to carry his body to the cathedral. While the funeral mass is under way, Ragnar promptly pops out of his coffin and slits the throat of the bishop that baptized him. That cant be good karma.

The Royal Famliy

Ragnar points a knife at King Charles. Princess Gisla tries to intervene. Ragnar runs for the gates with her in tow. The gates are opened and the other Vikings pour in to pillage, rape and rob. Ragnar for some reason lets Gisla go at the last minute.

This part is confusing to me. Why would the Parisians allow the pallbearers to carry the coffin inside the city? I'd have been like "Leave him. We'll take it from here". Maybe the Franks thought that since they gave up all their gold, the vikings would uphold their part of the bargain? Uh no. Never try to negotiate with a viking.

Count Odo finds Charles passed out against his throne. I have called the guy a wienie before but he is seriously the worst. Grow a backbone dude! Charles' plan to placate the Northmen is to wed Gilsa to one of them. Gisla really does NOT like that idea.

Outside the gates, we learn that Bjorn was the only one who knew the truth about Ragnar's fake death. Everyone else, thinking he was really dead, mourned him. They now feel stupid and betrayed. I'm sure this will cause issues later.

Maybe You Dont Recognize Me With My Shirt On

Most of the Vikings head back home. Rollo and a few others stay behind. Rollo enters the cathedral to marry Gisla. She goes on a rant about him. Tell us how you really feel. He, seeming infatuated with Gisla, just smiles and awkwardly says hello in French. I'm going to enjoy watching these two fight next year.

I Thought They'd Never Leave

In other news, we learn Count Odo has a serious kink after he whips Therese. At least he asked her to consent first. Does every show have to do their version of "50 Shades of Grey"? I'm personally tired of it. Not everyone gets turned on by whips and chains (or maybe it's just me).

Floki May Not Make It Back To Kattegat Alive

And in the final scene, as the boats sail through the night and everyone sleeps, Ragnar whispers to Floki "I know you killed Athelstan". Will Floki finally get payback in season 4?

Favorite Quotes:

"I Win"- Ragnar after he pops out of his coffin.
"Whatever my father says, I am not marrying this animal. I am a princess of the blood, not some cheap whore. I would rather be burned alive than suffer this thing to so much as lay a hand on me. He is a filthy pagan. Therefore he has no soul. He is worse than the beasts of the field. I would rather lose my virginity and my virtue to the vilest dog than to this piece of warm meat. He disgusts me. He makes me want to vomit."- Princess Gisla about Rollo.

Grade: 3 1/2 Monsters (out of 5). A disappointing finale but probably because I had heard the theories online that Ragnar would fake his death and Rollo would stay in France to marry Princess Gisla (all of which came true). Mental Note: Next time avoid the internet during the "Vikings" finale. Would I have enjoyed the show otherwise? Probably, but I still found it to be one of the weakest episodes of the year. Maybe my expectations are too high for finales. Anyway, I still love "Vikings" and will be back next year to root for our favorite barbarians.