Vikings Season 3 Epis 5 - 7 Reviews: The Gods Are Never Mistaken

In episode 5 "the Usurper" Ragnar and crew (well, what's left of them) head back to Kattagat leaving some Vikings behind to tend the fields in England. Bad idea. Aethelwulf goes a little crazy and wipes out a village. But Echbert doesnt mind because... well because he was behind the whole thing to start with. Psych!

When Lagertha returns home she finds out Kalf has declared himself Earl. She tells Ragnar he better help her regain her title or else. He isnt very supportive. Aslaug tells Rollo that Siggy is dead and they never found her body. He cries and says its because he treated her poorly. He gets in a knock down drag out with Bjorn as a way to soothe his pain. (Fighting is Viking therapy.)

We Are So Done

Helga tells Floki of Harbard's visit. Floki immediately recognizes Harbard as Odin. Floki then tells Ragnar about Aslaug's sexy times with Harbard. Ragnar doesnt take her infidelity well. She challenges him saying she's sure he was out doing the same thing (which is true). My guess is she'll be with child. Uh oh. Ragar finally says he doesnt care who she sleeps with as long as she watches the children (which she wasnt doing when she was off with Harbard).Not sure how this will play out but Ragnar and Aslaug's marriage is over at this point.

Athelstan Survived A Viking Raid, Almost Being Crucified By The English, Almost Being Sacrificed By the Pagans, Only To Be Killed While Praying. Where Is The Justice?

"Born Again" (not to be confused with "Bjorn Again") gives us the biggest shock of the season thus far. Athelstan has a spiritual awakening and rededicates himself to Christianity. He throws his bracelet from Ragnar into the water. Floki sees this and tells all the other Vikings that Athelstan has rejected their gods. I've never liked Floki much. He's always been jealous of Athelstan and Ragnar's relationship. Yes I know we need someone like Floki to create drama but still. Floki sneaks up on Athelstan and whacks him the head. That was a very un-Viking way to kill someone. Ragnar later finds his body and carries Athelstan into the woods to bury him. Athelstan was Ragnar's closest friend and confidante. Ragnar is lost.

I Hope Some Day Our Gods Can Become Friends

Meanwhile Aethelwulf finds out Judith cheated on him. After she has the baby they drag her to the stake. Her ears and nose will be removed as punishment for adultery. In a very well acted scene that made me cringe, Judith FINALLY names Athelstan (but only after having one ear chopped off). Luckily she gets to keep the other ear and her nose.

Who's Your Daddy?

Ecbert says the baby is divine intervention since Athelstan was a holy man. And truth be told, Ecbert pushed Judith into his arms anyway. I'm not sure what Ecbert's game is with this. Either he knew his son was sterile or he didnt want a child to end up like crazy Aethelwulf. Either way, he now seems happy with Baby Alfred. Incidentally Alfred goes on to become King Alfred the Great who fought off the Viking invaders. See additional info here

In Kattagat, Ragnar learns what happened to the Viking's English settlement. One man escaped and ran/sailed back with the news. Ragnar kills him to keep him from sharing the news of what happened (or the others wont follow him to Paris). In his defense the old man did say he wanted to be reunited with his dead family...but Ragnar did not have to help him along.

Floki May Be Crazy But At Least He's Good At His Job

In episode 7 "Paris", the Vikings prepare to attack France. Floki builds several large towers so they can scale the walls. We have the usuals with Ragnar-- Rollo, Floki, Lagertha and Bjorn. Why are Kalf and Borg's son Erlendur allowed to make the trip though? They have made no secret of their intention to overthrow Ragnar and Lagertha. Were the Vikings that short on men? This is going to end badly (unless they conveniently die on the battlefield).

Ragnar makes several hints that he knows Floki killed Athelstan but doesnt come right and say it. They have a great staredown. Ragar says he could really have used Athelstan's help during the siege. What might Ragnar have planned for Floki (or will his leave Floki's fate in the hands of the gods)?

Porunn is still struggling with her injury and asks Aslaug to raise her daughter (baby Siggy). Aslaug declines but is supportive. Porunn has been pushing Bjorn away and into the arms of another woman. Torvi happens to be Earl Borg's widow. It's a small Viking world after all.

I'm Applying For Viking Child Support. I Will Need 20 Fish Per Week.

Meanwhile Ecbert plans to attack Northumbria (which is Aelle's kingdom). Judith is his daughter. Speaking of Judith, Ecbert makes a pass at her (after sending Aethelwulf off to deal with Queen Kwenthrith since she killed a bunch of Wessex lords). I still dont fully understand Ecbert's game plan. Maybe he's hoping Aethelwulf gets killed in the process so he can declare war on Kwenthrith? She is becoming one of my most favorite characters since she's SO over the top. Kwenthrith tells Aethelwulf she has a baby by Ragnar. It's name is Magnus. Do you believe her? I think they had sex but I'm not sure about the child.

Just Chilin On My Big Throne

And in Paris, we're introduced to a number of new characters. We have King Charles (Charlemagne's grandson) and his daughter Princess Gisela. She seems to know what the score is. Then there's Count Odo who seems to be running the place (instead of Charles). He asks Grisela to marry him (IF he defeats the Vikings). She's already rejected him once so my guess is the answer will be "no".

Knock, Knock. Guess Who's Here?

And as the Vikings overlook Paris, I am reminded of the Seer's words to Ragnar-- "Not the living but the dead will conquer Paris...The bear will be crowned by a princess." Any idea what that means?

Grade: 4 1/2 Monsters (out of 5). Excellent episodes as always. Next week the siege of Paris begins. I cant wait. And it's hard to be believe we dont have much of season 3 left. There are only 3 episodes left. But have no fear. "Vikings" will be back for season 4.