I'm sure Myrtle wishes she had some boiling water right about now
The girls were in quite a pickle at the end of last week. An army of zombies summoned by Marie had surrounded the house. They included Delphine's long dead daughters. Then all Hell broke loose. The cute neighbor boy (Luke) goes outside to reason with them only to realize that they are indeed ZOMBIES! I could have told ya that sport. Just when he's about to get chomped, Nan runs out to help him. They are trapped in a car. Zoe comes to the rescue and chainsaws her way through the horde. Zombie parts are flying everywhere. They should rename this show "Zoe in Zombieland".
Back at the house everyone seems to have forgotten that there's a zombie attack in progress. Queenie goes upstairs to lay down and Delphine goes to get ice for some inexplicable reason. Can't the ice wait?! Then she hears rustling outside. Hmmm what could it be? Let me open the door and find out. Oh it's her daughter the zombie. Imagine that... And she's NOT very happy to see Mommy Dearest.
We learn in a flashback that Madame LaLaurie was almost as horrible to her children as she was to her slaves. So I say feel free to feast on her intestines Borquita! But alas zombies have ADHD and are easily distracted. She ends up attacking Queenie who tries to defend herself by working some voodoo magic but, since zombies are already dead, that doesn't work well. Delphine saves Queenie by spearing Zombie Daughter with a fireplace poker. Just a reminder, you have to stab her in the HEAD if you want to kill her for good.
Delphine collapses against Queenie saying what a horrible mother she was. I simple LOVE Kathy Bates but I'm not buying this change of heart. Sure she's had 200 years in a box to think about her sins, but she was far to evil to reform that easily. Anyway its still fun to watch.
Back outside we think Zoe is getting the best of the zombies when the chainsaw dies. Zombie Dude is coming in for the kill when Zoe uses brainpower (and not her magical vagina) to kill him. This prompts Marie, who has been levitating in her beauty parlor this whole time, to say "I don't know what that was but they have some real power at that witch house now."
And lest we forget about Fiona, she's at the hospital with Delia (who as you recall had acid thrown in her face last week). While waiting for the doctors Fiona roams the hospital, steals some meds, meets some crazies, and brings a baby back to life. Somebody needs to pay the power bill in that hospital so the lights will stop flickering.
The doctor tells Fiona that Delia will be blind permanently. Then Hank, the serial killer husband, shows up. He trades barbs with Fiona (who hates his guts). He holds Delia's hand and she receives a vision of what he has done. Uh oh, I see trouble ahead. Is he going to try killing her next? And Fiona mourns the fact that she too has been a horrible mother. Question: If Fiona can bring a baby back to life, why can't she heal Delia?
Just as they're burning a big pile of zombies in the school yard, the Tribunal shows up. They plan to pass judgment on Fiona. She however turns the table on them and says it was Myrtle Snow who threw acid on Delia. Then there's something I didn't understand about Myrtle living under an alias at Motel 8 down by the railroad tracks. Whatever that was supposed to mean.
The sentence is unanimous "burn the witch"! Myrtle doesn't put up much of a fight but she's not guilty. She was framed by Fiona and Queenie. They all traipse off to... somewhere. It looks like the desert but there are no deserts in New Orleans. They tie Myrtle to a stake. Fiona flicks her cigarette and ignites the fire. Myrtle burns in a big CGI flame.
Meanwhile Spalding is still wearing dresses and playing with dolls. He's sprays disinfectant around since the decaying Madison smells. He tries to get her out of the box but her arm falls off. I hate it when that happens.
Back at the school Fiona tells Queenie she is the next Supreme. What is she really up to? It's obviously no good. And in the last scene, Misty Day happens by and Myrtle opens her eyes. I can't wait for her to get her revenge.
Favorite quotes:
- "She had a monster for a mother. This last act was the only kindness I ever did for her"- Delphine about her daughter after he killed her (well re-killed her since she was a zombie).
- "I was hoping our shared tragedies would bring us closer together."- Delphine. "I doubt it. You are the maid after all."- Fiona. That one made me laugh out loud.
- "Time to deal with the rest of the trash I see."- Fiona when the Tribunal shows up.
- "I fairly swoon when I see the moment of terror register on a handsome face ... makes me feel young again."- Delphine after scaring her daughter's boyfriend way back in the 1800s. And she wondered why everyone hated her.
- "You're a bunch of little toads in a pot that Fiona is slowly bringing to a boil." - Myrtle Snow's last words.
- "None of us is innocent. No one"- Fiona to Queenie (after she has second thoughts after framing Myrtle).
The World According To GMonster
TV: Heavy On Sci Fi, Horror & Adventure; Light On Reality
TV: Heavy On Sci Fi, Horror & Adventure; Light On Reality
No comments: