Once Upon A Time Episode 17 Recap: Hot For Teacher

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This week's episode entitled "The Jolly Roger" was Hook centric. I have to be honest here and profess that I dont really care about Hook. He seems a nice enough chap but he's just not as much fun to watch as Regina. So to my lizard brain, the recap of this episode looks like this:

Blah blah blah, Regina, blah blah blah, Emma, blah blah blah, swinging bridge, blah blah blah, magic, blah blah blah, family dinner, blah blah, blah Regina blah blah blah pretty, blah blah blah soft, blah blah blah I bet she smells really good...

However, I hear that some other story lines occurred:

Regina casts a protection spell on the loft so what do the Charmings do except take a long walk on the beach. Her description of them as the "two idiots" is pretty accurate.
Arial is looking for Eric. Blackbeard has the Jolly Roger and was apparently going to ransom him. Hook and BB fight. They never find Eric. We think he has drowned. Ariel is not happy.
No one knows how to put a crib together. Is that crib from Ikea? I think I saw it there.
Emma agrees to let Regina help her with magic. I'm a little frightened by Regina's teaching methods but they appear quite effective. Where can I sign up?
Speaking of teaching, David helps Henry learn to drive. He plows down a defenseless mailbox. Regina is not amused (but of course Henry doesnt remember she is his mother).
Hook apologizes to Ariel for what he did. She makes him swear on the person he loves. He swears on Emma. Ariel then turns into Zelena. Did you see that coming? She has cursed Hook. When he kisses Emma she will lose all her powers. And if he doesnt do it, everyone else will die or have something horrible happen (I'm not sure what).
And apparently Ariel and Eric were happily living under the sea all along.
What is Zelena really up this? I'm confused. Does she even have a plan? I dont think so.
Family dinner at Grannys. And it's about time Regina finally got invited (after all the times she's saved everyone's asses).

Favorite Quotes:

"This is a way of life. You have to fully commit."- Regina to Emma. Are we sure we're talking about magic here or something else?
"Reach in with your gut and know you can do this."- Regina to Emma.
"He's impulsive, violent and has a hook for a hand. What about him would a 12 year old not like?"- Emma describing Hook.

Grade: 3 1/2 Monsters (out of 5). I have this a lower score since not enough Regina. Yes I know i sound like a broken record. But I'm not the only one. See #EvilRegals