When we last saw our band of Fairytale characters, Henry was kidnapped by Out-of-Town Greg and Tamara. They opened a portal to Neverland and jumped in. Hook, Rumple, Emma, Snow, Charming and Regina are on the Jolly Roger heading to his rescue.
Flashback to when Henry is born. Emma's leg is shackled to the bed during childbirth. She doesn't want to hold Henry and looks away. I need a tissue. Damn allergies!
Tamara, Greg and Henry finally land it NL (Neverland). It appears Henry has had a growth spurt since we last saw him. Going through puberty in Neverland wont be fun. Where are the mermaids? Anyway, I digress. The Lost Boys surround them and say they're taking Henry. G&T try to put up a fight but Peter Pan swoops down and sucks out Greg's shadow and Tamara is shot with an arrow. I hope the "Home Office" has good health insurance. You're both going to need it. Unless of course you're already participating in the Healthcare Marketplace thanks to Obamacare.
Henry runs off with who he thinks is a Lost Boy traitor. They fly around a while. But it turns out the guy is really Peter Pan. Henry didn't your mothers teach you to not talk to strangers with British accents? And what does Peter want with the truest heart (Henry) anyway?
Meanwhile everyone else is still on the ship slogging along. Hook gives Emma a sword (that was Neal/ Baes) and makes a pass at her. Or was it the other way around?
Rumple says he's the one to leave to rescue Henry because Emma doesn't believe enough. He poofs away (but leaves his cane on the boat). Rumple finds an injured Tamara. She says "Can you forgive me, blah, blah". He says "no" and pulls out her heart and pulverizes it. Can that man hold a grudge or what? Rumple talks to Head Lost Boy who gives him some messages from PP (Peter Pan). Yeah, yeah, whatever. We dont care. But then he gives Rumple a small doll which chokes him up.
Back on the high seas, mermaids are wreaking havoc by ramming the boat. Who knew mermaids were so cranky? They capture a mer-person. She summons a storm with a shell and causes they all to start fighting with each other (like that wouldn't be happening under normal circumstances). Regina turns the flounder into wood but that doesn't help.
Emma jumps overboard (I guess to try to stop the fighting but I don't know why the hell she did it). Unfortunately some rigging falls on her head and knocks her unconscious. Charming rescues her from drowning. Just when I was hoping Regina would be forced to give her CPR, Emma regains consciousness. Drats! Better luck next time.
Neal (who I really don't care about) is in Fairytaleland (the Enchanted Forest) with Mulan, Aurora, and Prince Phil. Mulan finds out that IRL there is a movie about her (too bad she doesn't know what a movie is). Anywho, they all head for Rumple's castle (cause what else do they have to do)? At the castle they encounter Robin Hood. He will have a bigger storyline later.
Neal does some interpretive dance which opens a wall in the room. There's a bunch of dusty stuff and spider webs in the hidden compartment. He finds a globe. It apparently will show him Emma's location.
Our ship FINALLY lands and everyone is still bickering. Emma makes a rousing speech about how they all need to use their different talents to work together to save Henry, blah, blah. Less talking and more doing people! Emma give Regina a kiss while you're at it.
Favorite lines:
- "Filet the bitch"- Regina about the mermaid.
- “And what, you’ll win her over with your rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers?"- Regina to Emma about the mermaid.
- "Is that the best you've got?"- Regina to Snow after she punches her in the face.
Grade: 4 Monsters (out of 5). My, how I've missed this show. I don't care how crazy it is, I still love it. Why isn't it on more than once a week?
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