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It's just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right...ight..ight...ight. Put your hands on your hips. And bring your knees in tight. Then fall into the time portal and arrive in Past FairyTaleLand. For the umpteenth time. That's the gist of the season finale. The difference this time is that Emma and Hook are in the past (while everyone else stays home). Dont hate me but I found these episodes entitled "Snow Drifts" or "There's No Place Like Home" to be...well... boring. There were a few exciting moments though. Here's the highlights:
Emma wants to go back to NYC with Henry since she doesnt feel at home in Storeybrooke. Hook is sad that Emma is thinking of leaving. Regina and Robin are sharing an intimate conversation. Snow and David are trying to come up with a name for the baby. Hmm what's that strange beam in the sky? Why its the time portal. Everyone rushes to the jail but Zelena is gone. It looks like she killed herself but we know that Rumple really did it. Emma and Hook are having a chat in the park when they see the beam emanating from the barn. Emma gets too close and is sucked into the portal. Hook tries to save her but... nope... sucked in too. Emma's cell phone is left behind. David is calling to warn her about the portal.
Emma and Hook end up in the Enchanted Forest. Emma immediately begins screwing stuff up-- including the first time her parents met (which was when Snow was supposed to steal a ring from Charming's carriage). Uh oh, now Emma may never be born. Good thing she has Hook around to talk some sense into her. They also have Henry's Fairytale Book. Bonus points for Emma's FTL costume change. You can never show too much cleavage in the Enchanted Forest.
We see Regina threatening the town folk if they help Snow. Regina is wearing a lovely ensemble. Emma wants to help the villagers but Hook warns that she doesnt know what she will affect in the future.
Emma decides she needs Rumple's help. They will attend King Midas' ball and make sure Charming and Snow meet. Rumple provides some party duds for them. Emma introduces herself as Princess Leia (haaa, a "Star Wars" reference) and Hook is Prince Charles. Why couldnt he have been Prince C3PO instead? Regina arrives at the ball and terrorizes everyone as usual. Snow and Charming finally meet but Emma ends up in jail where she again sees the woman who was previously arrested for helping Snow. She is scheduled to be executed soon.
There's also a side story about Snow trying to leave town on Hook's ship. Emma has to distract Past Hook while Future Hook talks to Snow. Then Hook punches Hook for kissing Emma. How's that for confusing?
Snow breaks into Regina's castle to help free Emma and get the ring back. But Regina confronts her. Snow throws fairy dust. Regina blocks her. Regina burns Snow at the stake. Emma, Red and myself are sad. While everyone is looking for a tissue, they notice a ladybug. Charming demands that no one stomp it because... it is Snow. Who knew? With Snow and Charming on their way to becoming a couple, Emma and Hook's work is done.
They return to Rumple to try to find a way home. But Rumple, being the strange silver sparkly creature he is, sends them to the Dark Vault instead. Emma is able to open a portal with her magic. Rumple asks her what happened to Neal. She says he died a hero and to please dont take that away from him. Rumple drinks the forgetting potent. Hook, Emma and the woman return to Storeybrooke.
Emma has finally realizes her home is in Storeybrooke and that she loves her parents. They tell her they have named the baby Neal-- Prince Neal of Storeybrooke. Later Hook tells Emma he sold the Jolly Roger to get a magic bean to visit her in New York. They share a passionate kiss. Meanwhile Rumple and Belle are officially married by Reverend Grasshopper.
Back at Grannys we finally find out the identity of the mysterious woman that Emma brought back. It is Marian (who of course is Robin Hood's wife and mother to his son). Uh oh. Happiness is snatched from Regina's clutches once again. Can that women just have a little happiness? IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK? Anyway a tearful Regina tells Emma she better hope that's all she brought back through the portal. In the next scene we see the urn that Hook brought back. Something oozes out of it. A woman takes off a glove and freezes everything in her path. It is none other than Elsa.
Grade: 3/12 Monster (out of 5). I thought last week should have been the season finale instead. Extra bonus points though for some old characters returning-- such as Red (ie Wolfie). I also enjoyed the Trolls. They need more air time. How bout a troll spinoff? And no you will not get a higher rating since you have crushed Regina's hopes of having a happy ending YET AGAIN!!! And speaking of which, is her heart back in? Cause if so, she should promptly remove it cause this is going to hurt like hell.
TV: Heavy On Sci Fi, Horror & Adventure; Light On Reality
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